Sunday, September 12, 2010

Don't lose sight of the things that make life so beautiful

Dear Readers,

It is 2am and I just now got a chance to get to my computer to write to my few, but faithful readers. It is my fiance's birthday today. Unfortunately, I will not be able to spend it with him. Just coming out of a military life and trying to set up a new life for ourselves is very difficult. I have not seen him for 3 months but I dream of being in his arms. I have become used to a life of wishing he was here but that doesn't mean that it ever gets easy. So, instead of answering a question today, I will just simply tell you to take this opportunity to be grateful for what you have in your life. Celebrate the beauty that surrounds you. Whatever it is that gives your life that little bit of sunshine, may you never lose sight of it. I am so blessed that I have someone so wonderful in my life. Someone who makes all my pain and all my fears disappear. To the man who raised me up and made me the strong woman that I am today- Happy Birthday. May God bless us with so many more years together.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Are visible tattoos acceptable at work?

"Dear Jenny,

I am about to start a new job as a dental nurse. I have always wanted to get a tattoo and I am thinking about getting one on my wrist. Do you think that would be acceptable at my new job?

-Tattooed Nurse"

Dear Tattooed Nurse,

Since you said that you are about to start the job, I am going to assume that you already have the job. Many professional businesses do not like their staff to have visible tattoos. It would be very misleading of you to start your job with a tattoo after being granted the job without one. I personally believe that having a visible tattoo is unprofessional and does not bode well for the business, but this is something that you will need to ask your boss. I should warn you though, even if your current boss is okay with it, your future potential bosses may NOT like it. Having a tattoo that is hard to cover up will work against you when you are applying for a job (and in this economy, who can afford that?). Unless you are considering wearing long-sleeve shirts for the rest of your career, you should consider either a.) not getting the tattoo at all or b.) getting it somewhere that can be easily covered.

Readers: Please send me new questions!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Is having a genetic disorder a good enough reason to want to adopt?

"Dear Jenny,

I have a question about people that want to adopt rather than having their own children because they have medical problems that they might be able to pass on to their future children. Are they considering adoption because they just want to avoid taking care of a child with medical problems? Does blaming bad medical make-up justify adopting? I don't think that this is the type of person that should really be adopting. What are your thoughts?

-Adoption Skeptic"

Dear Adoption Skeptic,

I, personally, think that it is selfish for couples to have children when there is a good chance they will pass on a medical disorder that will cause the children to suffer! I highly commend parents who have decided to accept a child into their lives- rather than have a child of their own. It is a difficult, but fulfilling adventure. There are so many children who need homes from infants to teenagers. But if you honestly want to know my thoughts, I think that you clearly have no understanding of being a parent and wanting to make a child's life better.Fortunately, your opinion on who should be adopting doesn't matter!

To readers: If you are considering fostering or adoption of a beautiful and amazing child who needs your love, please visit

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Jealousy At Its Finest

 Dear Jenny,

Last week my boyfriend and I were discussing marriage, and he hinted that he would be proposing soon. When he knew I felt very positively about it, he asked me my ring size and the stones that I like. But today my very much loved friend told me she got engaged. While I am happy for her, I feel like I'm going to look like I am copying her by announcing my own engagement, which will be soon. It makes me a bit disappointed, even though I know it shouldn't. I should feel happy for both of us, but I can't help but feel ridiculously stupid and sad. Will I look stupid announcing my engagement so soon after her?

-Jealous Friend

Dear Jealous Friend,

Let's start by agreeing that you are not yet an engaged woman. After my fiance first mentioned marriage to me (and took me to a jewelers to try on rings), he spent 9 months choosing the perfect ring and planning a beautiful proposal. I am not saying that this will be the same for you, but you are clearly jumping to conclusions by assuming that he is going to pop the question so soon. You are not being a good friend by not being happy for her. She is entering a wonderful stage in her life and if she is a friend that you love very much, she deserves your approval and happiness! When you are engaged, you will want all the love and support you can get from your friends and family-- but you are not giving her that same respect. What you give you shall receive. Stop worrying about what others will think if you get engaged in the near future and focus on the love that you and your man share together.

On another note:
I am trying to promote my blog so I can have more readers and more questions :)! I have had an amazing time writing this blog and reading everyone's questions! Please email me any of your questions or leave them for me in a comment!

And don't be shy! Ask me things that you can't ask your friends and family. It is completely anonymous and I do my best never to judge or be biased.

My email:

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Noisy children in grocery store

"Dear Jenny

This morning I was at the grocery store and there was a mother in front of me in line with two children in her shopping cart. The first child was standing in the cart and was hitting his brother while the one that was being hit was incessantly barking like a dog at the top of his lungs. After having to watch and hear this charade for five minutes, I decided to ask the mother to quiet her child. The mother responded by berating me and telling me her child has ADD and telling me to mind my own business. Did I act inappropriately in this situation?

-Seeking Peace "

Dear Seeking Peace,

A grocery store is a public place, therefore noise is to be expected. It is not a nice restaurant or a movie theater. Although it might be frustrating to endure someone's screaming child, standing in line is not an all day adventure. Grin and bare it or remove yourself from the situation.  Understand that it is not easy taking two children to a grocery store, especially when one of them has a medical condition. If the mother could have quieted her children, you can be assured that she would have, so asking her to only causes conflict. People do not handle being told how to handle their children very well. Next time, be respectful and deal with it for a few minutes or go to a different line!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Loving Stepmother

"Dear Jenny,

I love my stepdaughter so much and even though I'm not her biological mom, I see her as my own and I have been in her life since she was 7 months old (she is now 3 years old). My husband and his ex were never married. They had a custody battle and my husband won. His daughter stays with us during the week and spends every weekend with her mother. The mom isn't happy, of course. She has a new boyfriend and she wants the daughter to stay with them. But my husband and I love her and since I have been with her for so long it's like she has two mothers. His ex tells me to back off and that she doesn't want me around her daughter. I love my stepdaughter so much. Is it wrong being so close to her when she already has a 'real mom'?

-Loving Stepmother"

Dear Loving Stepmother,

It is wonderful that you love your stepdaughter so dearly and treat her as your own child. Unfortunately, being a stepmother is a difficult position. She has her biological mother, whom is present and active in her life. There is a very fine line here and you must be careful not to cross that line. Understand that she already has a mother and as long as she is in your stepdaughters life, you cannot fill those shoes. The most important thing is that the child is emotionally stable and happy. This situation will never be perfect, but as long as you support the child and don't try to fill a spot that is already filled, you and your stepdaughter will be happy. She is very lucky to be surrounded by so much love.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Interracial Relationships

"Dear Jenny,

I am a 20 year old college student who is living in an apartment this year. My parents are very traditional and expect me to date and marry someone of the same race. I am currently dating a wonderful man who is a different race and this has upset my parents. I understand that it's not my problem, it is theirs and I know their dislike is purely racial because they have not met him and already dislike him. I am holding a job to pay for living expenses, but they have to fund my housing because the loan I got came with a high interest rate. What are some ways I can cope when she says negative things about him and about me?

-Struggling College Student" 

Dear Struggling College Student,

People will always be ignorant when it comes to interracial relationships. It is unfortunate that your parents are willing to risk their relationship with you simply because of the color of your partner's skin. They are helping to pay for your living situation, which is very kind of them, but it does not give them the right to tell you who you can and cannot date. You are an adult and only you can make yourself happy. If your boyfriend treats you with love and respect, his skin color should play no part in whether you continue to see him. Your parents are obviously trying to set you up for a good life and they clearly care about you. Once they see how happy he makes you, they will eventually come around. Don't argue with them. Just laugh off their comments and tell them how wonderful he is (you could even make a comment on how he would never judge anyone by their skin color)! Our generation is so amazing because we have learned to look past skin color and see the beauty in every race. Help your parents in seeing that beauty as well and stay strong for you, your man, and every other interracial couple that struggles with these issues in our society.